Blog #15 The Color of Love
It was an ordinary evening. I was cleaning up after dinner and my family starting singing “Happy Birthday” from the living room. I was confused because my birthday was still two months away. Nonetheless, I walked into the room to find a large, thin box leaning up against the entertainment center. My kids were grinning from ear to ear as we slit the side of it and started pulling out two big wheels. They had bought me a new bike!
I was so excited because the bike I had been riding was making me crazy. I was getting flat tires every few weeks. There was something wrong with the frame and it was constantly rubbing the tire the wrong way, deflating it. I had been so frustrated!
Now, I was very touched that my husband had surprised me with this great gift, but there was something I loved even more than that. The color. It’s coral! I know that doesn’t mean much to you, but it does to me. It’s my favorite color! I didn’t even know they made bikes in that color! I’ve been proudly riding it around my neighborhood sure that people are thinking where did she get that beautiful coral colored bike?! I am a one woman parade these days.
Being known. Really known. Isn’t that what we long for? Someone who knows what to order for you at a restaurant. Or sees a look in your eyes and immediately knows you’re hurting. Or has walked a similar road and totally gets a fear or an insecurity you have. There is something about being known that reaches into our soul and deeply satisfies.
Psalm 139:1 says, “You [God] have searched me and known me.” But notice this: it’s past tense. He has searched me. He isn’t searching me. He isn’t trying to figure me out or make sense of me. I don’t have to do any explaining and He doesn’t have to do any investigating. I am already known.
You know that insecurity, fear, or secret desire you have that you keep to yourself? He knows it. Everything about it. And He gets it. He doesn’t think it’s silly or inconsequential. He doesn’t think more or less of you. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Or act like you are fine when you’re not. You can take a deep breath.
You are known by Him.
I don’t know about you, but there are times I am exhausted at the end of the day trying to be someone I’m not. All the pretending and smiling. And it is on those days I am so thankful I can fully let my guard down with Him and just be.
Be known. Be noticed. Be loved.
The week I got my new bike I had been wondering a lot about how I was measuring up as a wife. Am I good enough? When will I overcome bad habits or outgrow certain insecurities? There was a lot of self-loathing going on and only God knew the depth of my heart. So when I saw that beautiful coral frame it was like God was sitting on the couch winking at me. He knew my birthday present needed to come early this year. The gift came from my husband, but I know who was behind it. I had been searched and known and was in need of a special boost that week.
Sure, I needed a bike. And any color would do. But that tiny detail spoke volumes.
What is that insecurity, fear or secret desire that no one knows about? Talk to God about it and watch for a splash of color in your own life.
Tell God everything you feel about that area you keep hidden in your heart. Ask hard questions, make bold requests. Rest in the fact that even a “sigh” is understood by Him.
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